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Showing posts from February, 2018

Best Facebook statuses

One night, as I as lying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself: "What the fuck happened to the roof?" Life would be perfect if some girls had mute buttons, guys had edit buttons, bad times had fast forward buttons, & good times had pause buttons. Live, laugh! I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet. Sorry Weather Channel. Not buying it. I heard you talking about projecting the hurricaine path based on what models are saying. Last time I let a model give me science advice my kid got polio and the mumps. Men, we failed we just can never understand the woman's logic, so give up trying, nod your head, and say thank you for still loving us anyway FRIEND: Wanna hear a joke? , YOU: Your life?! I'm going to stand outside.. If anyone asks, I'm outstanding.. I'm going to stand outside.. If anyone asks, I'm outstanding.. I'm in a relationship with sleep and i get some everynite... and if im lucky i get some during th